Page Body Text
By Suppressing Their Grief.
Due To These 14 Myths...
Myth#1: People who experience intense grief over a pet who died (or will die) are weird.
Truth: You are normal and healthy when you feel this way. People who have strong feelings about the loss are capable of intimate attachments and deep emotional bonding. This is something to be proud of, not something to put down.
Myth#2: The loss of pet is insignificant when compared to the loss of human life. To grieve for the loss of a pet devalues the importance of human relationships.
Truth: The loss of a beloved animal companion can be as emotionally significant as the loss of a close human relative. You can love and care about both animals and humans.
Myth#3: It’s best to replace the lost pet as quickly as possible to ease the pain of loss.
Truth: An animal companion can never be “replaced.” Every pet is different, with a unique personality. Naturally, the bonding toward each the pet is different. So, before getting another pet, people need to be emotionally ready.
Myth#4: You should mourn alone. Be strong and independent when it comes to this. Don’t burden others with your problems.
Truth: Mourners can greatly benefit by the empathy, caring, and understanding of supportive others. (And by the way, others do want to help you.) However, it’s necessary to be selective about where you turn to for help because some people do not take pet loss seriously.
Myth#5: You should “just get over it.”
Truth: When people say this to you, it’s based on the faulty assumption that you get closure to your mourning when you have only pleasant memories of your pet. But not everyone can achieve quick resolution on their own to such a profound loss. You see, one cannot fully appreciate pleasant memories unless one has unpleasant memories to contrast them with.
Myth#6: You’re selfish if you euthanize your pet.
Truth: Euthanasia can a compassionate and humane way to end the intense suffering or declining quality of life of a companion animal. It would be selfish to prolong the suffering of an animal in pain.
Myth#7: The best way to cope is to suppress and bury your grief. Keep busy so as to not dwell on your troubles.
Truth: Grief will not just go away. Sure, it may go away unresolved...only to come back haunting you. By following the exercises and applying the ROAR methods to go beyond the five stages of grief...you’ll be able to accept your reality...and move toward recovery from the pain.
Myth#8: When people talk with sadness about missing their furbaby, it’s best to redirect their attention to pleasant memories they have about the pet.
Truth: People who talk about their unpleasant feelings want receptive ears. Redirecting their attention reflects the discomfort of the listener rather than the needs of the mourner.
Myth#9: Time heals all wounds. Just give it enough time and you’ll no longer feel so bad.
Truth: Time by itself does not heal the pain. It’s what you do with your time that matters.
Myth#10: The best way to protect yourself from the pain of pet loss is to not get another pet ever again.
Truth: This isn’t the solution. Though there’s a price for loving the pet deeply, the courageous act of getting another pet brings positive hope to the mourner. (Don’t do this too soon though. On page 127, Robin reveals when the time is right to get a new pet.)
Myth#11: Children handle pet death rather easily. The experience will not be carried over into adult life.
Truth: Children feel as strongly over the loss of a pet as adults do. You should not overlook this.
Myth#12: It is best to protect children from the upsetting truth of what has happened to their pet.
Truth: Without showing the truth to children, it will cause more pain to them. And they may unfairly blame themselves for their pet “running away.”
Myth#13: Pets don’t mourn for other pets.
Truth: Some animals do develop strong bonds with other pets in the household. They will show some symptoms of mourning as peo