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The second obstacle we must overcome is trying to EARN self-worth.
The truth is that self-worth cannot be earned.
Luckily, feeling good about yourself in a real way consistently despite your imperfections and shortcomings is a skill you can learn.
And you can do it without turning into an arrogant jerk, pretending not to care, or ignoring all the ways you could improve yourself.
In fact, according to a University of Wisconsin study, you actually improve MORE when you focus on what you're doing right. So don't worry about that.
Not only does learning this skill clearly benefit you every single day of your life, it also has a huge positive impact on everyone around you.
Yet, unfortunately, most people NEVER learn this critical skill no matter how "successful" or "saintly" they are...
The problem is that basing your self-worth on "success" or anything else external to you instead of learning this skill is not a winning strategy because it will never be enough.
While true confidence makes you more successful, success doesn't necessarily make you more self-assured.
In fact, lots of celebrities, wealthy people, popular people, people who post happy photos of their "perfect" relationship on social media, and even so-called "gurus" lack the most basic foundation of genuine confidence...
...in other words, they appear "successful" to the world but still don't like themselves very much.
Maybe you can relate...I was the exact same way before I learned what I'm about to share with you today.
So if you struggle with this stuff, you're definitely not alone.
The sad fact is that most people struggle with this no matter what it looks like on the outside.
And why don't these amazing people see their own value?
Because they're trying to EARN it when that's actually impossible.
See, achievements, new levels of fame, pay increases, helping people, and buying nice things can make you feel good about yourself for a while, but like any drug, the feeling fades away quickly and then you need more just to feel normal.
And, if you have deep regrets over your past decisions and actions, they can weigh you down for years even though you can't change the past. This kind of regret can actually prevent you from growing and correcting your past mistakes so you don't repeat them in the future.
If you believe there is something fundamentally wrong with you as a person, it destroys your self-worth no matter what you do. And this level of shame tries to convince you that you are a fundamentally unworthy person even though that's not true...
...Maybe someone did something to you or something happened to you and you interpreted it as a message that you're not worthy of respect.
...Maybe someone BLAMED you for something and you internalized it.
...Maybe someone told you that you were a certain way a long time ago and you just kept believing them instead of telling your own more accurate story.
Do You Have a "Dislike Button" in Your Head?
Sometimes pain from past social rejection can create a "self-fulfilling prophecy loop" of more rejection and more pain:
You expect or suspect that you'll be rejected, so you express your fear through your body language, the other person picks up on it and gets uncomfortable, they "reject" you because they don't feel comfortable, then you feel "rejected" again and confirm your beliefs about yourself...
The sad fact is that, most of the time, we hold ourselves back.
And, if you don't like yourself very much because of the way you look, you can get fit, have corrective surgeries, wear clothes that make you look better, etc...
Yet, even when you do those things, you'll never look perfect.
The fact of the matter is that no matter what you do, you'll never be perfect. So, if you feel the need to be perfect, you'll never ever feel like you're good enough.
You'll never meet that impossible standard.
And, if your standard is merely to be "the best" in order to feel good about yourself, someone better than you in one way or another w